Friendship essay: what makes a good friend?

     

These are the keys to lớn maintaining long-term connections.

Posted March 23, năm ngoái | Reviewed by Lybi Ma


Key points

Essential friendship traits fall into three general categories, each representing a critical aspect of relational behavior. Everyone brings a different màn chơi of the 13 essential traits khổng lồ their relationships. Trustworthiness is often the “make or break” element in any interpersonal relationship.
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Some people have an easier time establishing & maintaining friendships than others. Và some of us long for closer friendships or try to lớn figure out why an existing or promising relationship fizzled out. In these cases, we may jump first lớn judge a friend’s behavior, rather than our own. Perhaps we forget that relationships rely on mutual interactions. It is important, them, to examine our own contribution to lớn the dynamics of a friendship. It is only our own behavior that we can change, & there are certain personal characteristics it"s essential khổng lồ cultivate to build healthy, lasting friendships.

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The 13 Essential Friendship Traits

How much bởi vì you agree with each statement?

I am trustworthy.I am honest with others.I am generally very dependable.I am loyal khổng lồ the people I care about.I am easily able khổng lồ trust others.I am able khổng lồ be non-judgmental.I am a good listener.I am supportive of others in their good times.I am supportive of others in their bad times.I am self-confident.I am fun to be around.

These traits fall into three general categories, each representing an essential aspect of relational behavior. If you find that you disagree with many of the statements, you may struggle to lớn develop meaningful, lasting friendships.

Below is a description of how each trait influences relationships, organized by the realm of behavioral expectations in which it falls:


Traits of Integrity

These qualities, represented by the first five traits on the danh mục above, are related to chip core values held by most cultures—trustworthiness, honesty, dependability, loyalty, and, as an interrelated quality, the ability khổng lồ trust others.

Trustworthiness is often the “make or break” element in any interpersonal relationship. Any breach, regardless of perceived magnitude, can devastate a relationship. Trustworthiness is comprised of several components, including honesty, dependability, & loyalty, and while each is important lớn successful relationships, honesty & dependability have been identified as the most vital in the realm of friendships.Honesty requires that we speak openly from the heart and incorporate objectivity into our words.Being dependable means that friends can count on you to lớn be there when you say you will, to vị what you say you will, & to be willing to stand up for friends, especially when they can’t stand up for themselves. If you are as likely to let friends down as come through for them, the relationship often becomes superficial, less engaging, and even resentment-provoking, if it doesn’t over altogether.Loyalty is valued early on in all of our relationships, from the time we make our first friendships. We need friends who won’t spill our secrets to others, gossip about us, or allow others to lớn criticize us.

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Being able to trust another person involves being comfortable with vulnerability. If you have difficulty sharing your authentic self with a friend, it is doubtful your friend will be easily willing to bởi this for you.

Traits of Caring

These qualities, represented by the traits listed as numbers 6 to 10 above, include empathy, the ability to lớn withhold judgment, effective listening skills, and the ability to lớn offer support in good times & bad. These traits require personal insight, self-discipline, and unconditional positive regard for our friends.


Empathy is the ability to lớn understand what is going on with a friend, lớn recognize how he or she is feeling, & to interact & respond accordingly.The ability lớn be non-judgmental reflects our ease in accepting a friend’s choices, regardless of how they may differ from our own.Good listening skills are essential khổng lồ allow the communicating of intimate thoughts, feelings, và experiences. This sharing is a gradual process of give-and-take that deepens over time.

Traits of Congeniality

This group, representing by the final three traits listed above, includes self-confidence, the ability khổng lồ see the humor in life, and being fun lớn be around. This trio of traits has also been associated with overall well-being and happiness in life.

Self-confidence is an appealing characteristic in any friend, và may even be contagious. When we are in the company of self-confident individuals, we typically feel our own confidence rise.People who are fun lớn be around are better company than friends who walk around with a dark cloud hanging over their heads. The former enjoy life, handle challenges in proactive ways, & keep negative experiences in perspective.People who have the ability to lớn see the humor in life help us khuyến mãi with the curveballs (or spitballs) life tosses at us. We all benefit from friends who are able to lớn keep us from taking life too seriously.

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Before You Can Increase Your Friendship Quotient, You Must Admit That the Need Exists

Remember: Everyone brings a different cấp độ of the 13 traits khổng lồ their relationships. However, the very best friends offer a generous helping of this baker’s dozen. Take an honest look at your own behaviors and see if you need to lớn raise your "friendship quotient" lớn raise the likelihood of maintaining the close connections you desire.